This morning my pup and I headed down early to the Beach for a long walk alongside the ocean. Yes, I am grateful each day for the gorgeous, lusciousness upon which I live. As we walked, I contemplated where this year had taken us, the losses the gains, the hopeful growth – the onwardness of it all.

The trick to onward, is doing it anyway. You aren’t sure how? Do it anyway. You aren’t sure where? Start where you are. You aren’t sure who will show up? Start with yourself. If you have a dog, it’s pretty helpful: you have a loyal party of two.

We stared off at the ocean and offered her our Uncertainity. We didn’t pray for more; we prayed to be shown how to better use all that we have. We asked for forgiveness on being so slow to embrace all that was given. We admitted our fear, and we offered it to the Ocean.

Before it got too warm on the black asphalt (I have a black dog; they do tend to pant more quickly), we hopped in our car to head home. Remembering the lack of milk for coffee, I pulled my dusty grey CRV over in front of a dusty convenience store and walked in and walked back through time.

I scanned the walls of old posters: scenes of Hawaii, campaign ads from thirty years ago, and sagging wooden shelves.

An older gentleman peaked behind the counter.

“Hello, I have lived here for 6 years and I don’t think I have ever been in here!”

“Oh no?” he chuckled. “Well, we have been here since 1940.”

“1940?”

“Yes, in 1990 I took it over from my mother. And now I am retiring.”

“Wow,” I couldn’t think of anything clever to say as my head swiveled to take in the history. “And you are retiring! When?”

“Well, as soon as I sell off all my stock,” he motioned to many empty, yet some considerably full shelves. Mostly of alcohol. “We have a deal 20% off Spirits.”

I am not much of a drinker, sans the most perfect glass of red wine, but I looked around, and my eyes landed on one perfect thing.

“I’ll take the Choya.”

He looked at me just as surprised as my voice sounded, buying liquor at 9:15am on Equinox. But you see, this was not coincidence. Wrapped up in that bottle of umeshu, or bottles past, were long nights of conversation with dear beloveds. There are long wooden tables in Japan, with obasan making us warmed tea and cajoling us into laughter as our traveling pack roamed through new horizons both external and internal. In that simple bottle, is the elixir of friendships and losses that on this most auspicious of days are some of the fondest tears and smiles that have watered my life.

“I love umeshu.”

He smiles. He knows I am buying it for him.

I know that an act of kindness never goes unnoticed by Universe. It is actually as much for me as it is for him; now, instead of looking back at sips savored, I begin this New Cycle, with gratitude and salutations to come.

“Many Blessings on your retirement,” I smile.

“Thank you,” he smiles.

“Aloha,” we both say as I turn to walk out the door, onward.

Tao Te Ching
by Lao-tzu
Legge, Translator(Sacred Books of the East, Vol 39) [1891]

1
The Tao that can be trodden is not the enduring and
unchanging Tao. The name that can be named is not the enduring and
unchanging name.

(Conceived of as) having no name, it is the Originator of heaven
and earth; (conceived of as) having a name, it is the Mother of all
things.

Always without desire we must be found,
If its deep mystery we would sound;
But if desire always within us be,
Its outer fringe is all that we shall see.

Under these two aspects, it is really the same; but as development
takes place, it receives the different names. Together we call them
the Mystery. Where the Mystery is the deepest is the gate of all that
is subtle and wonderful.

Assistance is always available.

When does it get easier? 
Later.  
When you are actually doing it.

It is often when we are closest to our goal that we rub against the very fear of our own achievement.