Kate Brenton
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Words

I've scribbled the alphabet for meaning since I can remember.

Fire Conversations

8/31/2016

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I was sitting in front of a late summer fire when the woman next to me turned and said, “You know, it all changes when you are 70.”

I raise my eyebrows and nod for her to continue.

“No one talks about it. You know. No one talks about aging anymore or how to age — or that we even age.”

“No, they don’t.”

“But we do,” she looks off, smiling and contemplative. “We do. We do age. You know I started having dreams.”

“About what.”

“About regrets. Choices I made - or didn’t make — things that I am not pleased with; I have started waking in the middle of the night, seeing them. Do you think I am crazy?”

“No,” I answer honestly.

“And I had  — still have — a good life. I did well for myself in Academia, and then advanced in the business realm to. I haven’t wanted for much - “

“That’s an accomplishment.”

“Yes, it is. And I have lead a full life with community — my family, cultivated friends, cultivated a spiritual life, but you know my regrets are connected to work — a lot of people’s regrets are connected to work.”

“How so?” I prompt, curious. 

“Well you know you do things in the business world, you treat people in ways in the business world that you would never do in real life — you know. You don’t go by your own ethics; you have to do things in the work world, be a way, that you would never choose to be.”


I allow silence.


Eventually she offers, “You know they made me fire someone I didn’t want to fire and didn’t think should have been fired — I see his face in my dreams.” She looks at me, “You know you ruin someone, or at least a part of them, when you fire them like that. Never sat right with me.”

She brushes her forearm, lets her hand rest and says, “You know I believe these dreams are Spirit talking to me, telling me what I need to get right with to have a good death. Do you think I am crazy?”

“No.”

“Yeah, well you are too young to understand anything I am saying anyway.”

I chuckle, “That may be true, but I am glad I am hearing it anyway —even if I can only understand a sliver. People my age, and younger, need to hear what other genrations have to say — how else will we learn? How else will we prepare? Cross-Generations need to talk again, too much isolation,” I tell her. "That's one of our biggest problems today -- we are all isolated, instead of helping each other out."

“I didn’t think about that,” she says and we both stare into the fire.




To be continued…
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See a New Way

8/22/2016

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​“Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished?  
​Yes; work never begun.”
- Christina Rossetti




They say no two snowflakes are the same, which is a horrible metaphor for a sweltering August, but my resolve was just as flimsy.
​
I sat down to write my recent newsletter (here), and let it percolate for a bit before sending out (which is a great writer tip: time away from a piece provides new eyes, and deepens the message, kinda the way leftovers can be better than the original meal).

Anyway I wrote this piece sent it out over the webs then read my good friend’s piece.  Gah!  I  basically wrote the same thing - unknowingly -  and I felt like I had to rescind mine.

I did have a flicker of thought: Wow, we are on the same page;  thatʻs cool; this must be coursing through the ethnosphere, or at least an antidote to what is coursing through the ethnosphere. 

With chagrin transparency, I texted Marissa Polselli, author, coach and friend:
Me: “And by the way, my newsletter is your blogpost, basically. If I had read it before sending, I would have deleted it {mortified emoji}.”
​

Marissa: “And why would you have deleted your newsletter? It’s the message that matters. The more people who hear it the better - doesn’t matter from who  {heart and flower emojis}.”

First, when you see people talk about tribe on Facebook this is what women need. Soul circles mean shit unless you are circling around the depth of integrity and honesty displayed here from a newly re-ignited friendship with an old friend. Secondly, her love shone on a wound of mine and shattered it. She didn’t poke at it; she loved it whole -  in a text. 

This is also a great example (made by me) of attempted self-sabotage. Why? Because the post I wrote delved into my personal life, something I rarely do, and I was feeling vulnerable about it —eventhough I was getting responses back from my readers that were loving and resonant. So the “scared” me was looking for any excuse to wrong myself for being so vulnerable, and I was blessed to get loved up instead of getting shamed.

Have you ever heard that you will keep getting tested until you are clear?

About 48 hours later, a  colleague emailed me (and others) to contribute to what is bound to be a deep and supportively delicious online offering — I was stoked. A millisecond later I thought: Well, her online offering will be better than the one I am working on (What’s Your Story is a new offering, launching  September 30th; I am scared and stoked at the same time) — and then I heard myself. I went right back to my incident with Marissa and I told myself: No more. We’re done.

“A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.” – Tony Robbins

I emailed creative author/artist and friend Michel Damini Celebre that I would be honored to support her new online offering and that I was launching my own in September, the first of its kind. And just like that it was done, for the moment; 
I choose a new way to see: perception is reality.

Life is always - and in all ways- calling us to more. What tiny step are you taking today to set up a better tomorrow?

We’re cheering you on.
​All the best,
​Kate

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Standing in Kindness

8/18/2016

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Update, written this morning:  As I look at what was on my mind for this newsletter, I see the connectivity in the Standing Rock Speak-up for our Water. If we lay down our greed and our anger, we see there is enough for all. Our Self-care is intimately tied to the care for our 'āina, our Earth.  On this watery full moon, let us considering sending kind thoughts to those protesting for our water. And if today you choose to move your feet when you pray, you may consider doing so here.

"The world is wide and I will not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum. "  - Frances Willard

Letʻs talk Self-care.  I know you see it everywhere - but what is it? What can we actually do?
One -  get outside. Itʻs a balance for me to be engaged on the computer and available off screen, yet that connection to the natural world keeps me connected to what matters in life, the people, the family, the bike-rides, the whatever!  Itʻs about balance (she says in her electronic newsletter.) When I am stressed, I go outside. Here in Philly, I drive 35 minutes to stand with my favorites trees - and when I want to complain, I remind myself what I would do without these trees and I thank goodness for them. (Turns out how you say thank you can matter, you can read my friendʻs perspective here).
Two - discipline our anger. What came up for me recently was rage. I mean, I could say anger, but really its velocity was rage - it rip-coarded out, crusty, gnarled and dangerous;  it launched at my partner. He pretty much neutralized  himself and I just kept going. The next day, with a calmer head and a cooler heart I could say: “I cannot be sorry for my anger right now, but I am embarrassed by how I expressed my rage. I know better and believe differently than I acted last night. No one deserves to be talked to like that. I am truly sorry.”
Did I really say that? Yes, I did. That awkwardly and honestly that is exactly what I said.
Did he receive this? Yes.
Is that a miracle? No. It is a testament of grace that is given from more regularly cultivating kindness.
(And —to be fair — he is an amazing partner + that he could receive my words is one reason I am so supremely grateful for the relationship we both worked on to build and maintain. I am learning how much work a relationship is to maintain, just like watering a plant or brushing your teeth — but that is another blog post.)
I had a client recently reflect, “… finding a way to appreciate the intention of the anger, and teach the anger its usefulness - when and where -  fierce compassion and expression (are) essential.” Powerful and potent horizon for us to consider moving towards. 
Which brings me to three: be kind. Be kind to yourself, to people you know or someone you want to cut off in traffic; be kind to the grass - can you imagine if we didnʻt have any? - and the littlest aspect of life; be kind to your mind, and train your mind to be kind to you.
I recently saw this little video and loved it.

We will never be perfect as we spiral into the better versions of ourselves, yet we can keep choosing to be kind. Kindness is not only a choice, but a skill set if we choose to develop it.
​
May we be kind,
Kate
​

P.S.
Registration is open for my Introduction to Lomilomi Course at the Himalayan Institute this fall and I am over the moon about it, November 4 - 6.


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September 11: Peace Begins Within: Meditation Circle
6:15 - 7:00 ||  Yoga on Main  ||  All donations go to Ammaʻs Charities

September 17: Sit In Your Center
12:30 - 4:30 || YogaLove, Yardley, PA

October 1: Sit In Your Center
1:30 - 6:00 ||  Mamaʻs Wellness Joint, Philadelphia, PA

October 18: Power of Patience
7:30 - 9:30 || Mainline Night School: Lower Merion, PA 

November 4 - 6: Introduction to Lomilomi an Aloha-based Perspective on Healing 
                           Himalayan Institute, PA


Upcoming: Whatʻs your story, a humble offering accessible anywhere to help you get out of and into YOU.  Think interactive Inspiration with a flare on the written word,  online connectivity and Kate-ness. It launches September 30th. 
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