Big Sur, CA  photo taken by my (now) Beloved.

Truth be told I have spent some moments (read: days) reflecting (read : all the currents of emotions) on the threshold that is 40. I am happy to say that today, my birth day, I am standing in gratitude.  This list is purposefully mashed up because to do it in a hierarchical order is shmeh. Many of you who know me know that I rely heavily on gratitude to keep my canoe sailing in the right direction. So take a cruise through - lots of hyperlinks.
Happy Day to You! xo, Kate

​1. This
​2. Pizza 
3. Brown paper packages tied up with string (wink)
4. Conversations with dear friends that include wild laughter and comfortable silence
​5. The perfect latte, Kealia early morning ocean + chicken teriyaki musubi
​6. This clever coffee thing and the guy who makes my coffee in it
7. A smile from a stranger
8. Dogs, dogs, and dogs
9. Amma
​10. Sanjusangendo Temple, Kyoto 
​11. Rain
12. Diner breakfasts
13. Kauaʻi
14. Silence (Did I already say that? my bad.)
15. Gold hoops
16. Newness - from restaurants to countries to ideas
17. Poetry 
​18. My family
19. Finding the perfect word, whether written by self or other
20. Friends that know you before you were the you that you are now - whenever that it is
21. A yoga class that makes you sleep better at night
22. Essential oils
23. Apple bananas
24. Poke
25. Here + here
26. Dr. Seuss: One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
27. Being Seen
28. Unexpected cards in mail (sending + receiving)
29. Dancing that makes you remember - and forget
30. Driving on a sunny day, singing
31. The moment when the struggle clicks in to grace 
32. A little deck in Waimanalo
33. Pedicures
34. This Bruce Springsteen song 
35. Cucumber water
36. Tiffins with these reusable rainbow jawns
37. Hugs that change your day
38. Having a purpose
39. Scampering in the woods
40. My life 

​There I was driving, listening to a Chase Jarvis podcast when I verbally exclaimed:
​“Yes, #$%in’ Marie Forleo said it! Yes!”

And just like that, I was given permission and it felt amazing. Truly.

What am I talking about? 

For years — years — I have cringed when people ask me what I do.
Why? Because I don’t have a cocktail party answer, and in today’s society, everybody wants an answer that they can nibble, comparatively digest, and label.

“Ah, I do Lomilomi.”

Blank stare.

“I’m in the healing arts.”

Diminutive stare.

“I am in Wellness.”

Perplexed stare.

“I teach a Polynesian philosophy on wellness,” which has been the closest attempt at accessible language.

Eyebrows scrunch.

Then I hear a wildly successful woman say, “I used to cringe when people asked me what I did.”

I swear I stared at the radio speakers and said: Hallelujah.

I was not crazy. I was not alone and I don’t have to have a cocktail answer for my life. Marie Forleo was doing life coaching before anyone had heard of it, which is why she is now one of the Queens of life-coaching.

Now that is liberating because you have to dig deep to stand tall when no one can put you in a socially acceptable peg — and that my friend is priceless. Not easy, but priceless.
What you don’t have to do, once you do the excavation of finding your self (which is endless, by the way), is smudge up your brilliance and duck your head to make someone else feel taller. I am not sure why we do this, but we do, especially women.

Tip:  The next time you are at a party, ask someone what they enjoy. Or what is one thing they love. Don’t lead with, “What do you do?” and see how (and if) the conversation changes. Sometimes, when I am here on the East Coast, I want to remind everyone we are more than the work that we do. Some people love  their work; some people don’t; some just don’t want to talk about it, so, let’s remind each other that we are small and infinitely interesting universes —- even at cocktail parties.

Kate is on the East Coast writing, sharing lomi + teaching workshops, her coaching sessions are a bit eclectic, but her clients are everywhere. zip an email if interested in learning more.