I've scribbled the alphabet for meaning since I can remember.
Home is where the hat is.
Sometimes the thing we are looking for is so obviously in front of us, we cannot see it. Almost as if our direction is written upon our forehead.
It’s cliché except I didn’t realize it as the time, so it’s just gauche.
Last March, I packed all my stuff (there wasn’t much I had been living in a small hale, nestled in to Makaleha mountain. I know picturesque, but I technically only had three out of the customary four walls, so it was a bit wet and a little cold, yet still stunning and mine.) – so ,I packed all my stuff and put it in storage. Around that time I also bought this hat from Green Opihi. I thought it was so clever.
Since March I have been across O'ahu, Big Island, and Kaua'i; traveled to Los Angeles and San Francisco, CA; Wilmington, NC; Philadelphia, PA, and Baltimore, MD. I am headed to Japan in a few days. I’ve seen a lot.
My sweet friend on Kaua'i had walked past my room and saw the sleeping bag on the bed –“Kate,” she starts.
“It’s one of the few consistent things,” I sweep her gently on. No discussion. I didn’t have the energy. Possibly because I was too busy packing and unpacking my bags, booking flights and dreaming on to the next city.
Crazy, you say? You could never? Well, funny you mention that. I am also reading Untethered Soul right now and Michael Singer’s simplicity is reminding me of all the baggage we do carry around. Have you unpacked and let go of all that old luggage? You know the incident from fourth grade that still impresses how you __________ (fill in the blank), or the last job that convinced you to never __________ (fill in the blank), or that last relationship that taught you to forget __________ (fill in the blank), you get the idea. We all have baggage.
And then sometimes in balancing that baggage we cannot see our own horizon, you know your head bent from all that weight and all. I will bet you in our search, as we are clunking along with these unnecessary and beaten suitcases, looking for that perfect seaside hotel – we are looking for something that we already possess. Seriously, look at that hat I have been running around in.
I bet you whatever you have that is most weighing you down, can be lightened by something you carry within.
Yes, it may take practice.
It may take self-care and nurturance.
It will most likely take you looking inside and releasing some thought form that no longer serves, or some wound that is really just wanting to heal, and yet, if we want to be lighter – more here, more joyful, well, it’s time to let go, and let God.
Singer mentions in the book that there “Nothing, ever, is worth closing your heart over” (47). Now, I am not sure that is true. If we are not ready and we are not in the skilled mindset pretty horrific things can happen to us as humans, we close and that is okay. And we need to open back up. I love how he tells his readers that if you want to open “don’t close.” Straight and to the point.
So how does that relate to me and the hat? Well, I suppose moving every few years in my childhood might have created an idea that homes are impermanent. And then I might sometimes (subconsciously of course) think that I don’t deserve to enjoy this wildly precious life that I am living and so therefore, well I am not really sure what goes after the therefore, but I liked typing it. It’s a good, strong adverbial conjunction that lets me feel like I know the linearity of it all.
Have you ever heard the folk song about life is in “circles?” Me either, but I have been told about it.
So, home is where the heart and where the hat is. I have paid so much attention to my mind I think my heart might have doubled down that if I ran around with this hat on for long enough, I might start to realize that the only true home I have is the one that I create and the only true thing that I have in this life is the vessal that I walk in and the only true place to ever reside is home, in yourself. So be here, now.
After Japan, I head to the states, Los Angeles first to share lomilomi sessions 11/17 - 19, onward to Philadelphia and the East Coast, home for the holidays with family…it’s been some time. More sessions, 11/30 - 12/21. More lomilomi. More Joy. I am walking into a new birth of an Inspired mind. I believe the key to joy is very simple: Learn your worth and live it.
“If you want to do something sacred with your life, live it.” – KMB.
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